Nightmares
by MariaLuvsYew
Summary: "I wish I could hold you, kiss you, love you and make the nightmares go away, make them all disappear." It's the nightmares that are keeping you in here. xHappy Zevie Month c:
1. Chapter 1

**A song and all the mental hospital themed Zevie stories inspired this. I hope you like it and don't forget to review. ( =**

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_Nightmares seem to be everywhere. Your dreams, your thoughts, your memories. _

You blink your eyes open squinting at the brightness.

Where are you?

"Darling." A voice rings out. "You're stuck here." Who was that? How did they know? And where was it coming from? "Don't even try getting out."

You look up turning you're head frantically trying to find the source of the voice. "Who are you?" You yell to the tall ceiling. Your messy chestnut curls bounce as you eyes scan the room. "God? Zander?"

A laugh. "You're crazy."

A door slams.

"Look, it's for the better, so calm down." It ushers you. It almost sounds scared.

You hiss and scream, "I'm not suppose to be here! I'm not crazy! I'm not..." You pause staring down at your hands shaking your head timidly. "I'm not crazy."

You're not crazy. You couldn't be. There was absolutely no reason why you should to be in here.

"If you're not crazy, then why are you talking to yourself?" The voice cockily replies.

You mutter, "I'm not talking to myself. I'm talking to you." Wasn't it the most obvious thing in the world?

The voice starts to sound familiar. It's almost as if you've solved one of most complicated world mysteries. "See, You're talking to me and I'm yourself and talking to yourself is the sure way to stay in this joint."

"But, but," you stutter innocently. "If I can't talk to you, then... who do I talk to?"

"No one, dear." The voice almost sounds like he feels pity. "You speak to no one."

"This is a nightmare." You cry, tears flow down your cheeks as you throw your hands up to your face.

You cry, nightmares from childhood flashing underneath your eyelids. Monsters, scary men, crying underneath your bed, daddy screaming, mommy crying, mommy bleeding, daddy hitting mommy, brothers crying, brothers leaving you. Pain, pain,

_Pain_. So much pain to the point you're screaming because it too much to remember.

"Shh!"

"It's the nightmares!" You yell choking out a sob. "It's the nightmares that are hurting me! They put me here."

"Steves," the voice says. "You need to hush before they come." Now you know he's scared. "Or I won't be able to talk to you."

"I wish you were here. I wish you were here _with me_." You wish he could protect you.

"I wish I could hold you, kiss you, love you and make the nightmares go away, make them all disappear." He whispers. It seems as if he's right beside you instead of in your head.

"They don't scare me as much as losing you does." You whisper the tears still falling.

He sighs. "I know, I know. Look, I have to go for a while."

You head snaps up in realization. "_No_." You whisper in despair. "No. No. No! NO!" You yell.

"Hush!" He yells in a hushed tone. "They'll come again and I won't be able to talk to you for a long time!" He yells desperately, but you don't want him to leave you.

He's the only one who makes the nightmares go away. If he's gone, they come back and that can't happen. You don't _want_ that to happen. You just want him to caress you in his arms, singing a lullaby in your ear, lightly strumming on his ukulele.

"No!" You scream balling your hands into fists and shaking your head with hot angry tears spluttering out of your eyes. "No, no, no, NO! You're not allowed to leave!"

Men come and he's screaming and you can tell he's crying. Almost like he regrets talking to you in the first place. "I love you, Stevie!"

The men stab you with a tranquilizer and you whisper as your vision blurs and drowsiness takes over. "I'll always love you."

_It's the one nightmare that sent you here that's under your eyelids and you see the face that belongs to the voice as you relive the night he was killed._


	2. Chapter 2: Friends

**Hey you guys! I decided to continue this. I hope you like it and that you haven't given up on it for those of you who followed and told me to continue. Don't forget to review! (:**

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Her eyes blinked open; her vision blurred. It took a minute for them to adjust to the bright, white, cushiony room. She moved her head from side to side.

Where was she?

'_Steves.' _A sigh. '_We've been through this.'_

Her heart jumped out of her chest. That voice. Where did it come from?

'_Don't you remember?'_

She looked down to her arms realizing she could not move them. Those jackets for insane people was around her not letting her move.

Then it all dawned on her. Memories of yesterday flashed through her mind. Screaming, crying, screaming and crying for _him_, big scary men stabbing her with the tranquilizer, the voice, _his_ voice. Her head snapped up her big, glassy, hazel eyes widening. "Zander." She whispered. She could feel her heart breaking in her chest from hearing his name. Her voice was hoarse. She was stuck here and she was not getting out.

'_Like I said, it's for the better.' _

Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, in betrayal. "You put me here?" She didn't mean to sound so harsh, but she didn't regret it.

'_I had to. You were going to kill yourself.' _She shivered remembering that night. Standing on the roof of that tall, tall building. It was raining. She was going to jump and then the drugs she drank from her medicine cabinet caused her to overdose and she didn't remember anything from there. '_I hate seeing you in pain.'_

"You did it anyways." And before she knew it, tears were sliding down her flushed cheeks. Ever since _he _made him leave her, she needed him more than ever. She wanted to be together with him again, so the only solution was to take her own life. That ended up well, didn't it? Now she was here, but at least now she could talk to him.

'_I know. I thought talking to you would make you lose your mind, but now I see that without me you drove yourself into insanity.' _

"I'm not crazy!" She snapped raising her voice glaring at the ceiling from her place on the ground.

'_Shh!' _He panicked ushering her to hush. _'They're monitoring you! I need to stop talking to you that way they don't think you're crazy, so you can leave isolation and go back to your room with your roommate.'_

She has a roommate? She shook her head her chestnut curls bouncing as she shook away the thought."Z-zander, please don't le-" Her voice quivered.

'_I'm not leaving you.' _Her breathing calmed and his voice seemed like he was right behind her whispering in her ear. _'I just can't talk to you until they let you out of here.' _She nodded almost able to feel his knowing smile.

"O-o-kay." She stuttered. She leaned her back against the soft wall sighing. She couldn't wipe away her tears or hug her knees to her chest because of the restrainer. The eerie silence was killing her. "I'm sorry about yesterday. For screaming and crying and making you scared for making those guys take me away. It was my fault. I shouldn't have reacted that way." She apologized after an hour of silence and being drowned in her thoughts. She wasn't really expecting a reply.

'_It's okay. You're in a fragile state right now_. _Things are going to get better, promise.' _She smiled for the first time leaning her head against the soft wall just waiting to leave this room.

Finally, the door opened and in came a woman dressed in a white nurse uniform. Stevie's eyes widened and she cowered in fear scooting farther into the room away from the stranger. The woman gave her a kind, welcoming smile. "It's okay. I won't hurt you." She said in a soft tone. Stevie looked down at her feet which were covered in her favorite yellow socks. "You must be Stevana."

"Stevie." She whispered looking up for a moment then quickly looking back to the only thing that wasn't white.

"Oh, Stevie. Sorry for that. You don't have to be scared. I'm here to show you around. Would you like to go to the Cafeteria with other kids your age?" The woman asked her careful not to scare the girl. Stevie wasn't sure. She was more than terrified.

'_Go, there are friends.' _He whispered into her ear. _Friends? _All of her friends were taken away one by one because of their disorders. Then she didn't make any friends after that. She was perfectly fine with Zander as her boyfriend because she didn't want to lose anyone else. Then he was taken away from her by her _father_ and she was all alone.

Then he appeared behind the lady motioning Stevie to come on with a bright smile on his face. Stevie's breath hitched in her throat and it took everything in her to stop herself from jumping up and tackling him to the ground to kiss and hug him.

She looked back up to the woman as Zander faded away and nodded her head hesitantly. The lady smiled. "Okay, I just need to get that jacket off of you." The lady walked over to Stevie causing her to flinch and scoot back in fear. "It's okay; I won't hurt you." She tried convincing Stevie. Stevie nodded letting the woman remove the jacket. The woman held out her hand for Stevie to take and Stevie interlocked their hands.

The nurse showed her where her room was, there were two beds, but the room was empty except for her roommate's belongings on one side of the room, showed her the bathrooms, activities hall, and finally, the cafeteria. The nurse told Stevie to stay put next to a lunch lady as she skipped the patients in line grabbing a tray and putting food onto it. The nurse put the tray into Stevie's hands. Her mouth watered as her eyes scanned over the food. Mac and cheese with strips of grilled chicken mixed into to it, carrots with ranch on the side ready to be dipped in, a warm brownie, a carton of milk, juice box of apple juice, and a mini bottle of water. Her stomach growled since she hasn't eaten in a long time. The nurse lead her to a table that had five kids who looked about her age.

"These kids are seventeen just like you." The woman smiled. Stevie nodded and was just about to turn around to sit with them until a girl with a familiar voice squealed her name. "Looks like someone knows you." The nurse winked. Stevie turned to the table to see who squealed her name to find that her assumptions were correct. It was Grace. Her blonde best friend. Stevie's eyes scanned to see who the kids she was sitting next to and there they were. Her old best friends. Molly, Kacey, Nelson, and Kevin. She never thought she'd see them again.

She walked over to them as they looked at her with a surprised and happy expression. "I-is it really you?' Kacey stuttered too lost for words. She stares up at Stevie with deer eyes playing with her hair.

"Y-yeah." Stevie fumbled nervously setting her tray on their table and sitting next to Nelson. Grace, Molly, and Kacey all squealed happily jumping up from their seats, running over to Stevie, and wrapping their arms around her. Stevie let out a laugh. "Um, I can't breath." The girls removed themselves from her ashamed for almost killing her.

"Sorry, we just missed you and thought we'd never see you again." Molly whispered bouncing on her feet with a big smile on her face. Grace nodded. Kevin and Nelson stood up to give their best friend a hug.

"I can't believe it's really you." -Kevin.

"It's too good to be true." -Nelson. Stevie furrowed her eyebrows getting a good look of Nelson. He had dark bags underneath his eyes. She took a good look at each and every one of her friends. Kevin had faded cuts on his forearms, Molly had burn marks down her arms from trying to become one with fire, Kacey was fidgeting around nervously, and Grace had her hands on either side of her head muttering things underneath her breath and shaking her head every once in a while. Then she remembered why they were sent here in this mental institute in the first place.

They had mental disorders.

Molly a pyromaniac, Kevin a self harmer and anger problems, Nelson an insomniac, Kacey with a bad case of neurosis, and Grace is schizophrenic. They all had problems just like her. The only difference was that Stevie didn't know what her "problem" was. Stevie clutched her stomach as it growled again. Molly giggled.

"Someone's hungry." Stevie just nodded digging into her food. The others turned to their trays of food eating as well. Stevie wiped her mouth with her sleeve once she finished her food.

"So…" Kacey started. "Since you're here, Zander shouldn't take long to come." She said with a playful smile on her face. Stevie whimpered choking on the water she was drinking. She could feel her eyes start to tear up. It was the first time she heard his name in someone else's mouth.

And it _hurt _to hear it.

Molly looked over at Stevie in alert seeing the tear that was sliding down her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Yeah." Nelson agreed wondering what was wrong with his long lost best friend. "I mean, I know you probably would miss him, but he loves you and he'll be here soon because we _all _know he has problems too." Nelson said saying too much. Kevin slapped the back of his head making him shut it because he was worried about Stevie and he didn't want Nelson making her feel worse.

Stevie shook her head the tears falling freely now. "_Had."_

Grace stopped the battle that was going on in her head and turned to her crying friend. "W-what do you mean?" She asked innocently.

Molly blinked her eyes understanding where Stevie was getting at. She stared at straight ahead. "He's not coming, is he?" Her voice sounded dead. Stevie was now in a fit of sobs. It only took ten minutes and they already broke her.

'_It's okay, babe.' _He tried comforting.

Stevie shook her head pressing her hands on either side of her head. "NO IT'S NOT!" She screamed making Grace, Kacey, and Nelson jump back staring at her with wide eyes. "It's not okay." She sobbed her voice cracking and her anxiety kicking in so bad that she couldn't breathe.

"No one said it was, Stevie." Molly said with caution taking a step back. This was scaring her.

'_Talking to yourself is a sure way to stay in this joint.'_

"I'm not talking to myself; I'm talking to you!" She snapped at him chocking for breath at the head. She put her head back in her hands sobbing harder. Nelson looked over at Grace and Kacey waving his finger around his ear signaling she was nuts.

"He's dead, isn't he?" Kevin said bluntly glaring at the sobbing girl. "That's why you're here, isn't it!" He shouted at her. "You couldn't handle being without him, so you're selfish self-"

"Kevin, stop." Kacey urged tugging on his arm.

He snatched his arm back. "No!" Kacey cowered back hiding behind Nelson, her deer eyes back. "You tried killing yourself, didn't you?" Stevie sobbed harder. She's seen him snap on someone before, but never her. "Answer the damn question!" Molly, Kacey, and Grace were all hiding behind Nelson too afraid of Kevin especially from _last _time. The only thing Stevie could do was look up at him and nod her head. Kevin threw his arms down in anger. "I knew." He growled storming off to somewhere she didn't know.


	3. Accidental Confession

**I'm BAAAACK! c:Thank you to: VamLove218, Peacelovewriting32, and ChocoMintandRock(**You're welcome and really? I feel so special! But trust me, there are WAY better How to Rock stories out there lol!**), and Penguin Luver. So, I'm so sorry for taking FOREVER to update, but I'm writing the next chapter right now so hopefully it won't take as long to update! Hope this chapter is okay. Tell me what you think! c:**

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Stevie, Grace, Nelson, Kacey, and Molly decided against going to activities after lunch. Stevie wasn't really used to this place and from Kevin's outburst and the news of Zander's death, they were all afraid and practically a mess.

Not like they weren't already.

Turns out, Stevie and Molly were roommates, Kacey and Grace were roommates, and Nelson was Kevin's roommate. Stevie was sitting on her bed reading a book that Molly had since she didn't really have any belongings. Stevie kept glancing over to Molly, but she didn't have to do this in order to know what the raven haired girl was doing. The sounds of sobs and sniffles gave her the answer. It was killing her to know that her friend was hurting over what happened with Kevin and Zander, but what could she do?

'_Go comfort her, silly.' _He said and she could almost see the smirk on his face.

"Okay, Z." She mumbles as if him talking to her was natural and that it didn't just happen yesterday. She also notices that Molly tensed up from her words. Stevie set the book aside and took a deep breath. She stood from her bed walking over to Molly's across the small room and sat on the bed. Molly snapped up and then relaxed seeing that it was only Stevie. She hugged her knees to her chest waiting for Stevie to say something.

Stevie never imagined that seeing the Molly Garfunkel with tears rolling down her cheeks could be so heartbreaking. She remembered before Zander made Gravity Five and the Perfs make peace, and they were still rivals, about how much she hated Molly and wished she would just disappear from the face of the Earth. But sitting here now with her best friend, Molly, while tears rolled down her cheeks changed her mind. "A-are y-you -o-o-kay?" Stevie whispered stuttering with every word. She was in Molly's same place crying over Zander. She remembered how she was alone in her room crying her eyes out, suffering while her father was downstairs without a care in the world. Even after what he had done. She didn't have anyone to wipe her tears away. She didn't have anyone to ask her how she was doing. She didn't have anyone telling her that everything was going to get better.

She had no one.

She wasn't about to let someone be in the same position as her though. She watched on as Molly's bottom lip quivered and her face fell into her hands sobbing uncontrollably. Stevie immediately embraced the girl into her arms as she found tears sliding down her own tears. "I can't believe it." Molly choked out into Stevie's shoulder. "He was killed and you were there, weren't you?" Molly asked out of curiosity. Flashes of blood, screams, and cries entered Stevie's mind. Stevie couldn't do anything, but nod.

She did _not_ want to relive that awful night, but it didn't stop replaying in her mind once the sun was down and she was all alone in her bed, did it?

Molly suddenly pulls away. "Oh my god." She chokes out in disbelief covering her mouth with her hands as more tears fall from her eyes. The two girls both cling to each other as they sob into each others arms wishing that they had Zander back.

'_It's okay, Steves.'_

"NO IT'S NOT!" Stevie screams making Molly jump, but she doesn't remove herself from Stevie because she desperately needed someone to cling on. "It's not okay." Stevie mumbled forgetting that talking out loud to Zander would make everyone know she was crazy.

"I didn't say it was." Molly chokes out and continues sobbing into the other sobbing girl's arms.

'_I said to not talk to me out loud in front of others!' _He hisses.

Stevie suddenly feels scared again. He's never yelled at her before. "Why not?" She whimpers forgetting that Molly could hear her every word. Molly freezes.

His tone softens. It's almost as if he can read her mind. _'Because, they'll think you're crazy and they'll take you away from me, darling.'_

"Oh." It dawns on her.

Molly pulls away from Stevie with her eyebrows knitted together. "Who are you talking to?" She asks worry evident in her voice.

"To Zander, who else?" Stevie blurts out immediately cursing herself as the words leave her mouth.

"B-but," Her brown eyes shine with confusion, "Zander isn't here." Stevie's eyes dart everywhere except from the brown eyes in front of her that were staring at her for answers.

"Um, I… I-" A knock on the open door saves her.

It's the nurse from earlier. "Stevie, your mother is here with your things." Zander's mom she means. Her mommy left a long time ago leaving her in the clutches of her father. Stevie nods wiping her eyes with her sleeves quickly leaving Molly with her own thoughts. "Coming!" She yells as she runs out the door following the nurse.

"Oh, my name's Mary, by the way. Looks like I'm your nurse." The lady, Mary, explains kindly with a welcoming smile on her face as they walk down the hall. Stevie forces a small smile back. She doesn't want to be rude and maybe she could come to like this woman once she learns to accept her place in this mental ward.

'_We were just barely saved from you having to explain to Molly.' _He sighs relieved. _'If Molly asks just lie.' _She was just about to ask why until he beat her to it. _'I know she's our friend, but if you tell anyone, they'll tell you that you're crazy and that I'm not real.' _Stevie nods her head in understanding.

"Why are you nodding your head?" Mary asks concern written on her face. Stevie freezes.

"Oh, um, you know, just agreeing with a voice in my head." She lies nervously. What happened to the Stevie that was so confident and found it easy to come up with something at the top of her head? She wanted to be that Stevie again. So, complete, and not broken.

Well, she always was broken. She just put a tough shield on herself, so she would appear strong and people wouldn't figure out what was going on at home.

"You hear voices in your head?" She asks as if whatever could be wrong with Stevie could be dangerous.

Stevie ponders for a minute. "Yeah, a conscience. The thing that everyone has." Stevie said with the roll of her eyes. Mary nodded her head and there she was, Mrs. Robbins. She had tears in her eyes.

Stevie ran into Mrs. Robbins open arms wrapping her arms around the woman tightly. This was the closest thing she had to a mother after her own mother left. "Shh, shh." Mrs. Robbins comforted as she ran her fingers through Stevie's hair. She was crying? And then she realized that she was shaking as tears rolled down her cheeks.

She thought she was done with crying, but here she was, sobbing into Zander's mom's arms. "You're father is in trial. He can't hurt you or anyone anymore." Stevie felt relieved with this news, but it didn't cease her sobbing. "I just wish you would have… told us what was… going on long before he took… my son… away." Mrs. Robbins voice cracked and then she finally broke into sobs. "I'm so sorry you have to be here, but when I saw you on you're… apartment building… I just didn't know what to do!" She exclaimed. Stevie's suicidal mission failed not too long ago and she really didn't want to think about. She could already feel herself wanting to die again. "Then something told me that this was the answer."

"I'm not crazy." Stevie blurts looking up at Mrs. Robbins.

She sighs running her fingers through the girl's hair. "I know you're not. It's just my husband and I don't want you hurting yourself. You need someone to talk to."

_But I do have someone to talk to._ Stevie thinks, but that would just make Mrs. Robbins believe that she was crazy. Stevie gives one last hug to Mrs. Robbins and grabs her things from the woman. "Bye, thank you for everything you have done." She waves to her because she doesn't know when she'll see her again.

Soon she's back in her room and Kacey and Grace are there. They're sitting on Molly's bed and it's obvious that they've been crying. Stevie immediately opens up one of her bags and pulls out a purple stuffed bunny. She falls on her bed hugging the bunny close to her.

Kacey wipes away a stray tear falling down her cheek and sits on Stevie's bed. "I never knew you liked stuffed animals." Kacey says seeing that Stevie is clutching the toy close to her chest in a fetal position.

"I do, but Zander gave me this one." Kacey makes an o shape with her lips and lays next to her friend setting her chin on Stevie's shoulder. Stevie stiffens, but relaxes.

Grace and Molly walk over to Stevie and Kacey and sit on the bed as well. "You miss him a lot, don't you?" Grace asks. Stevie can feel a sharp pain in her chest. She missed him more than ever. All she could do was shake her head yes.

"Me too." Molly whispers staring at her hands after giving Stevie a 'we need to talk' look.

_Great._


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